


tell and ye are doubted

by Liliace



Series: demon!Tony [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (they're getting there tho), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Demon Tony Stark, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Pre-Relationship, Tony Stark's ex-job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 20:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8461861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliace/pseuds/Liliace
Summary: Bucky returns home to an interesting conversation and finds out what Tony used to do for a living. Y'know, back when he was still alive.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not the head canon people asked for. But do not fret, I have the 'Rhodey goes to heaven' oneshot written out, too! Now I just need to get around to posting it...
> 
> This is just a short cute little oneshot I felt like writing after deciding what Tony used to do for a living. It btw answers the question at least one reader had; no, Stane is not still alive. (Although considering that technically Tony isn't either, he might still show up. If a plot bunny bites me.)
> 
> On that note, I hope you enjoy!

"No way. No fucking way!" was the beautiful phrase that greeted Bucky as he returned home. He shrugged off his coat and shoes and wandered into the living room, where he found Clint and Tony in the middle of an argument.

"Alright, kiddos, what's this about?" he asked with a lifted eyebrow, and Clint turned to look at him.

"He's lying," Clint claimed, waving his had in Tony's general direction. "He's a lying liar who lies."

Tony, in turn, looked highly unimpressed and even a little insulted. "I'm not lying!" he exclaimed. "I'm not even sure what I'd be lying _about_."

"Alright," Bucky sighed, wondering how this became his life. Used to be that he only had to look after Steve and his stubborn ass. "Let's take this from the beginning. What happened?"

"We talked about Pirates of the Caribbean," Tony started before Clint had a chance to open his mouth, "and the failures in it. I mentioned how some things were inaccurate, and Clint asked how would I know – 'did you do hours of extensive research on Wikipedia?', in a very mocking voice may I add – and when I said it wasn't how I remembered it he started shouting at me."

Bucky turned to look at Clint, now feeling very unimpressed himself. Clint, on the other hand, crossed his arms across his chest and stared back sullenly.

"I still say there's no way he was a pirate," Clint said.

Bucky blinked. That – that was a surprise. Tony, a pirate? He turned back to his sort-of-not-yet-boyfriend.

"You were a pirate?" he asked incredulously.

Tony nodded, looking confused. He probably didn't understand why they were so surprised by the revelation. "I was. Back when I was a human. Had my own crew and everything – that is, until my second mate Obie started a mutiny."

Bucky and Clint continued staring at him, and then they glanced at each other.

"No way," Clint repeated. "You're not cool enough to have been a fucking _pirate_."

Tony gaped at him for a moment before finding his voice. "Excuse me, but I am plenty cool enough! And I _was_ a pirate, so there!"

"Nope," Clint said, smiling to himself as he turned to walk away. "Still don't buy it."

Tony looked at his retreating back helplessly, and then he turned to Bucky and motioned after Clint in bewilderment.

"Just let him go," Bucky said, shaking his head. "He works in mysterious ways. Once he's accepted your new ex-job, he's probably going to bug with questions forever. I'd say, just enjoy the peace while it lasts."

Tony nodded and then walked to Bucky, leaning into his space and smiling a little. "Hey," he said quietly, which was a pretty normal greeting for him.

"Hey to you too," Bucky grinned, and leaned in a bit so their noses brushed together. Then he pulled back, although he grabbed hold of Tony's wrist and dragged him into the kitchen with him.

Once there, he started pulling out ingredients for a pasta – he was hungry after work – and let Tony just sit down on one of the chairs.

They had learned early on that Tony had no skills for cooking. None whatsoever. Bucky firmly believed that if left to his own devices, Tony would manage to burn water. Which, well, wasn't really too surprising, considering that Tony was a demon and probably didn't have a lot of need for culinary skills.

"So, a pirate, huh?" Bucky questioned, glancing back at Tony for a moment before turning back to cutting up vegetables.

"Yeah," Tony said, his elbows on the table and head pillowed on his palms. He made for a surprisingly sweet and innocent picture, considering what he was. "I don't know why it's such a big deal. I mean, even Rhodey believed me when I told him – although he very much looked like he didn't want to, considering that he was part of the royal guard and all."

Bucky almost choked on air as he heard that. Tony had mentioned Rhodey enough for Bucky to gather some kind of a picture of him, and to know that Tony and Rhodey were best friends.

A pirate and a guard, huh? Anything was possible with Tony, really.

"Is that why you're so casual about missing body parts? I mean, I remember you saying that demons don't care about that stuff, but you also said you didn't think humans did either? And, well, if the pirate clichés are anything to go by, lots of you were missing a few limbs here and there," Bucky questioned.

Tony hummed in agreement. "Yup. No one blinked an eye if you were missing an arm or a leg or an eye – you'd just have to find some way to compensate for that. Eye patches weren't used by nearly as many pirates as modern day culture makes it seem, though."

Bucky hummed thoughtfully. "So 'pirates and eye patches' is just a trope?" he then asked curiously.

"Well, not really. I mean, some pirates did use them," Tony shrugged before grinning widely. "Speaking of, Rhodey told me he got such a fright when he went through heaven. Apparently someone he met there reminded Rhodey of some pirate we once fought."

Bucky blinked at that, but then let the comment just slide off of him. He didn't much care for thinking about whatever higher power might be out there.

"So," Bucky asked, reaching for a bag of macaroni, "pasta okay with you?"


End file.
